Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
