I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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