i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
