Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
