Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
