Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
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you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
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I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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