absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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