I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
