I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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