Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
