if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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