ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
