OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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