You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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