How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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