capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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