apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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