I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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