wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
