i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The air was thick with penises
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
