M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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