Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
