3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
