Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
