I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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