I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
