Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
