If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just cut my nipple shaving
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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