you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize