I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
