you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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