My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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