in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
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She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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