id be glad to
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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