Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
