no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize