i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
