He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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