Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
