Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
