So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
