I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
