im about as happy as oj after his trial
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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