A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Are we in a gay sports bar?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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