hotel room ftw
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
