Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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