just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
