If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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