So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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