Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
