I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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