I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
