I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...