Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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