Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
