evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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