we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
