some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
