Sponge bath it is.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
