You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
