She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
