I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
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My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize