i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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