nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
