Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
